I have been thinking of how far we have come, of all the obstacles we have overcome together, of all the challenges: your ill health, your enemies, your campaign promises, your wife, and ungrateful people who want you to do crazy things like turn around the economy, follow the rule of crazy laws like the procurement act and waste time talk to them. We have overcome them all and I am proud. Now we have to talk about the new year. What is your plan dear? Me, I have many resolutions. Let me share them with you.
BE PATIENT
I will wait in 2018. I will not ask you to speak to me always like those ungrateful Nigerians who think that you should always update them on the state of the nation, and react to issues as they arise.
I will be patient and not expect you to solve the perennial fuel crisis, even though you were and now are Petroleum Minister. What’s that got to do with anything? I will simply wait for father Dangote’s refinery which he has promised will perform signs and wonders, miracles. I will wait for Dangote to reach out and touch our petroleum industry and finally complete his Nigeria domination, for we know that with Dangote all things are possible. I will not pretend to understand how this subsidy or no subsidy works. I see Nigerians uploading things they claim you said in 2015 during the campaigns about Nigerians wasting time in fuel queues and losing productive hours and how you were going to end all that. Those are just rumours as far as I am concerned. Nobody said you were going to end anything. You are a president, not a magician. It is unpatriotic Nigerians we should blame for all of this.
Also, I will not question when you do things like seize and give away petroleum products for free when a filling station has broken some laws. I will not ask if this is legal or not, or if it is sensible. You are the law and if you do it, it is legal. You don’t have time to follow long useless legal processes for seizing petroleum products from stations that are in breach of rules. I will just applaud when you or your boys in NNPC do this.
CAMPAIGN FOR YOU
I resolve to put you first in 2018 until we achieve our goal in 2019. I resolve to declare that my septuagenarian is better than any other septuagenarian seeking office. You are the only one who matters and I need you until 2023. We all know that you will do better in your second term. Even if we agree (I don’t agree my dear, this is just for argument), that you have failed in your first term, that does not mean anything. When a pupil fails a class do they expel that pupil? No! What happens? They make the child repeat a class. Let’s even say you are offended by the example of a child. Think of promotion exams for the civil service or even the army. When you fail once, you do it again. So, even if you have failed, the correct procedure is to allow you to repeat your term. Most people succeed on the second try. Even I wrote JAMB and WAEC two times each. But don’t tell anyone dear.
DEFEND YOU MORE
One duty of a citizen, especially in Nigeria, is to blindly follow their leader. And my dear, you are more than just my leader. You are my beloved. I promise to defend you and think for myself what you might be thinking in your mind before you say it for yourself. This is what loyal supporters do. They do not demand big words like good governance, transparency and things they have just recently Googled. They support. They defend. And they attack those who dare to question your righteousness. Because you are pure and holy and those who believe in you must believe this. We achieve greatness as a country by showing you our love, not by asking you why you do things or by protesting when things go wrong or by demanding that things get better. Because love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. With love, you can perform wonders. I look forward to these wonders in 2019. Have fun my dear and I will send you photos of fireworks.
Ps. My weekly reminder: Please think of the Shiite man who is still in prison, whose children and followers we massacred and buried in Kaduna. It is never too late to do the right thing. Especially now as we enter 2018. Release him, his wife and his people. Let us begin the new year on a new slate. I know you want to. Hugs.
Yours until 2023 and forever
Elnathan John
